AkuRoku - The Purchase

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The Purchase
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He had told him he’d love him.  

Forever.

Forever seemed like such an ambiguous time period to Roxas.  When Axel told him he’d be there to save his ass, there to care for him, there to love him forever, Roxas didn’t know how to react.  He stood there, eyes wide, staring at everything but those two patient green eyes.  Should he take the offer, or should he wait it out and see if there was another one of better value?

Just how long was forever, anyway?  A day?  A week?  Three months and two days?

He didn’t know whether or not he should accept such an invitation.  The young boy didn’t like the prospect of accepting something that held so much value and yet played the role of a victim in the arms of expiration.  How would he know how to care for it?  How would he know that the morning when he’d get up from his sleep, he’d still find such a promise still alive and breathing?  How would he know that proposal wouldn’t be shredded and torn up as easy as a paper contract?  How would he know it isn’t just a sham, a cruel joke like those fake offers that he’d regularly find in his e-mail junk-mail pile?

So he waited, and thought about it, and practically threw his ambitions away to make room in his schedule to just sit and think about the offer.

Forever had seemed like such a long time.  Roxas figured that if his declaration came with the expiry tag of “never”, that’d give him more than enough time to wait and think carefully and thoughtfully of the offer before accepting it.

It’s what he was taught to do.  Never accept anything before assessing its value.  His mother advocated it when she shops for her clothing, always inspecting every stitch in a shirt and comparing prices for pantyhose in a dozen different stores before finally buying one pair; his father also endorsed it when he buys new cars—he’d go through the painstakingly long process of researching the latest accessories, comparing benefits and deals, and waiting for a better value on cars before finally settling for the vehicle that he was first shown.  Even his older sister taught him the ways of a “buyer’s theory”, or so she’d call it.  She was a collector of fragile porcelain dolls the size of her palm.  Her dolls were precious to her, and she loved them very much, but she’d never touch them, ever.  After many lengthy hours of examining and comparing dolls in the single shop she’d visit once every year, she’d purchase one based on its facial expressions, its unique dress, and the fineness of its hair.  They remained pristine and beautiful locked away in her display case, and she’d forever admire them from afar.  She had told Roxas that, when she gets the money, she might customize a palm-sized Axel doll just for him.

This way of investing was also evident when Roxas displayed to them his success in his classes.  Everything that he earned came through his parents’ mandatory appraisal, and showed him the meaning of worth.  A new skateboard would be worth an ‘A’ for his marketing project; permission to sleep over at Hayner’s would be worth at least ninety percent on his finance midterm; a later curfew when he went out on ‘dates’ with Axel would be worth a GPA of 3.0.

Surely, this wouldn’t be any different?

So Roxas waited.  He’d test out Axel’s promise.  He’d see just how expendable the item was, working it to its limit, denying kisses, refusing embraces, and rejecting hand-holding.  The blond was pleased to find out that love was so flexible.  Even with all that wear and tear, Axel was still next to him as they walked across campus after class.  That adds another check mark to his list.

He also found out that such a delightful offer came with fantastic side benefits.  He’d offer to help the shorter boy carry that monstrous bag of new textbooks at the beginning of the school term back to his car, which was all the way on the other side of campus.  The redhead would buy Roxas lunch when his blond friend left his wallet at home.  When the younger student needed to stay after classes to work on his business group projects, he’d ask Axel to stay too because he needed a ride home, and because he didn’t want to bus.  So Axel stayed, and waited, often times falling asleep in the hall outside the room where Roxas and his group worked.  Roxas smiled at such accessories, though he sort of expected them anyway, because he did say forever.

After more than half a year of assessing the offer’s standing, the college student finally decided to accept the proposal.  It had been hard and hellish for him to go through the ordeal of sizing up Axel’s promise, but Roxas concluded all his hard work would be worth it.  One should never be too hasty with something of such grand worth, because they could run into others that display much higher value, or better additions, or superior appreciation.

But Roxas was certain this time.

Axel had been busy with his exams and homework, Roxas supposed, because he had rarely seen him over the past month.  Final exams were always a terrible, stressful time, but being a student never was easy. One always had to make sacrifices, and if he wanted to go out with Axel and spend time with him until after midnight, he’d have to do well on his exams.  It was all for their future, really—a ten o’clock curfew with the one he’ll be spending forever with doesn’t sound very appealing at all.

The boy flipped open his cell phone, punched in ‘1’ on speed dial, and listened for the voice of his to-be lover.

When the voice of the message recording came on, Roxas just frowned, sighed, and sat down on the nearby bench outside the main college library.  He tried again in five minutes, only to get the same result.

Strange, it seems that Axel must have misplaced his phone.  Roxas shrugged to himself, putting the idea of purchasing his future boyfriend a new cell phone on the backburner of his mind.  He thought of getting him a blue one, to match his own eyes.

The second-year student had to bus home that day.  He figured he’ll just drop by his friend’s house to see how he was doing with all his studying.  He vaguely remembered the dates of the older student’s final exams, but he was almost positive he had one this coming Friday.

The sky was very blue and very sunny when Roxas arrived on Axel’s porch.  It seems like even the heavens were appealing to the blond student’s approval of his friend’s long-waited proposal.  Roxas smiled.  Axel said forever, and now, he’ll bask in the glow of such lengthy time.  

A forever with Axel will be wonderful.

He took out the spare key to the house of his long time friend, slipping it into the keyhole, and twisting the door open.  He stepped into the house, closing the door, calling out Axel’s name once, twice, and heard the hushed thumps of his feet on the floor in his room above.  He patiently waited by the door, but furrowed his brow when he saw Axel’s old cell phone laying flat against the foyer table, right next to the jacket Roxas had bought him a year ago.

“Roxas,” The blond looked up towards the narrow staircase that faced towards the front door, and watched the lovely redhead descend slowly, even cautiously, voice stuttering as he continued, “what the hell are you doing here?”

Roxas brushed off his nervousness as a sign of his anticipation.  Finally getting a ‘yes’ to a love confession was a nerve-wrecking thing, for anyone.  It was almost as hard as being the one to say it.

“This…this really isn’t a…good time.”  He raked a hand through his messy hair, other hand fumbling to pull together the open front of his button-up.  “You should go home.  I’ll give you a call later on tonight, how about that?”

The blond cocked his head to the side.  “Why not now?”  He inquired.

“I…” as if a heavenly cue was upon him, the rest of his sentence came as a manifestation of another tall redhead.  The man was equally as handsome as Axel, with red streaks underlying those confident pale blue eyes of his.  He came down without a shirt.  He came down with an inborn swagger, and just as easily wrapped his long arms around Axel’s waist.

Roxas stared.  And stared.  And stared.  A minute felt like an eternity.

He didn’t realize that the expiry date was today.

“But…you said…forever.”  He whispered.  He had said it so quietly, because the words had somehow refused to leave his throat, he thought he had imagined his own voice.

Axel caught his statement though, just like how he always had when Roxas spoke.  This time was no different.  Roxas thought that it was just a hasty mistake on his part, and that the offer was still standing, because he had said forever.

“I did.  I did say forever, and I do love you,” Axel said quietly, sucking in a long breath and closing his eyes, “I love you so much.  And I still do believe in caring for you forever,” he admitted, one long-fingered hand swinging almost childishly as he reached blindly for the other redhead’s hand.

“I just never said I’d wait that long for you to realize that I meant it.”

Roxas went home that night alone, carrying his heavy, heavy backpack with him through the door.  He thought about Axel, he thought about the offer that was given to him during his September birthday.  

Axel had said forever.  And he had said that he’d still care for him, forever.  That means...it didn't expire—no, it didn't.  It was just that the form of his purchase would be profoundly different from what he had thought it'd be.

Was this how his purchase would finally look like?  Roxas had pictured Axel kissing him passionately, arms around one another, and hands intertwined snuggly like two pieces of adjacent puzzle pieces.  That’s what the blond thought of when he reflected on a forever with him.  When Roxas thought about a forever with Axel, he imagined staying out and up all night with him, smiling and teasing one another until their sides split from laughter, and waking up next to him with nothing but their skin separating them.  

He didn’t realize that the invitation would be a distant one.

But he had said he would, so he took it.  He accepted the eternal offer, accepted the man’s love and care, and watched his well-assessed, researched, and strictly appraised prize, glowing in his smiling, porcelain grace, from afar.

Forever.

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